Fake History Hunter

Before you start, yes, I know, the story of Robin Hood is mostly a myth, a legend, so those who tell that story get a bit more freedom, yes.
But the writers, set designer & director all have chosen to set the story in a real time, real place and with real historical characters.
They’re portraying Medieval England, not the Shire.

So I’ll be my annoying old self and moan and complain about all the details they get wrong.

Mind you, I love Sean Bean, so I may be blind to anything incorrect he’s involved with, just so you know.

This is an as-I-watch-it review.
So I’m watching the episode, sharing my thoughts & illustrating those with screenshots, hence the format.

I love it when a show starts with a handy clear description of when & where the story takes place, it makes fact checking so much easier…
From the introduction we learn that this story is set in the 2nd half of the 12th century.
The Norman laws had been part of life for almost a century and this whole Norman-Saxon divide had already mostly faded I reckon.
These laws were for everyone, the introduction suggests that there was this occupation going on and two groups of people being divided, which was exaggerated and made worse than it was, centuries later, yes you know who I am going to blame…

It is also odd that they talk about Christianity being forced on the Saxons, as they had been Christian for centuries by then, just like the Normans if I remember correctly.

So it looks like we’re going with the Victorian story of Robin Hood, not one of the earlier ones… yay.
Great.

Is that a stone arrowhead?
Is our story starting in prehistoric times?
I guess it’s possible of course, I wouldn’t say nobody used them, but it’s a bit peculiar.

Oh I think I’ve played this game.

Oh good, we’re getting gore.
That mail also looks pretty decent, I think I see rivets!
The helmet looks painted grey, was that a thing back then?

This fellow looks like he wore a T-shirt last summer 😉

A Saxon Lord… say what now?
What is this Temu Braveheart doing in this story?
Why is he wearing trousers in stead of hose?
Did this guy get lost on his way to the Game of Thrones set?

Oh wait, never mind, calm down dear, we’re not watching actual history, we’re watching a story a dad is telling his son.
All clear, false alarm, no worries, everything up to now can be silly, it’s not real.

Hang on there dad, is this story suitable for your kid?

What in the name of 1950s MGM technicolor musicals is mum wearing??
Is it dress like a pirate day?
Nothing about this is 12th century.

This bed looks great, see, I can be nice too!
Good wooden medieval bed, you can see rope (although it looks more like leather here) that is woven under the mattress, we see nice blankets decorated sheets, lovely.

No complaints about that house, but is the kid wearing trousers?
Back then men wore hose, two separate sort of stockings attached to a belt or their braies (underpants).
Although the Celts had worn trousers centuries earlier, they were not really a thing in 12th century England.

Oh perfect, now we’ve got an exact year.
Also this picture looks lovely, Nottingham looks lovely and the keep pretty decent.
I’m not sure if the town looked like this back then but luckily I’m too lazy to look it up.

Yes this all looks lovely although the buildings look like they’re from a century or so later.
Also not so sure about all those chimneys.

The castle looks pretty impressive;

For a second I wondered if it was perhaps a real keep they dressed up a bit but then I found this interesting claim in an article:

Credit where credit is due, for a set that’s completely fake, they did a pretty good job.

Nothing but compliments about this next shot, perfect, super accurate, sublime:

This doesn’t shout 1186, it shouts 2024 made in Taiwan.

Oh dear.
Here we go.
Dark dingy castle, expensive candles burning even though there’s plenty of natural light, un-plastered walls, no colour, straw on the floor, but not enough to be functional.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve seen me share pictures of castles that have been properly renovated and you know that it would be more accurate for this grand hall to be wonderfully painted in perhaps even garish colours.

Okay, up close the castle looks a bit less convincing;

The kid’s costume looks like cheap fancy dress, the woman in the back her clothing is spot on… but for a few centuries later;

I take back what I said about the sets.
This place looks like Euro Disney.

It looks like they didn’t even bother to research 12th century fashion.

This looks all wrong.
More wasting of candles, furniture and props from a different century and always that damn straw on the floor.
When you spend 5 seconds doing research, you’ll learn about people placing rushes on their floors, yes, that’s a sort of straw, so bing bang bosh, throw some straw everywhere and Bob Mortimer is your uncle.
If you spend 10 seconds doing research, you’ll learn that these rushes were often woven mats, like a sort of carpet or rug, especially in castles and manors.
Or at least a thick enough layer to have some sort of function!

What is that?
A leather finger protector?
Did they even have those back then?
Does our Robin sound like he needed one of those?
Nay I say, our Robin would have had fingers thick with calluses from having been shooting arrows since he was a kid!

The Loxley family is living in a little cottage in a small village, clearly just common peasants, yet they have some pretty expensive furniture and are burning candles like they’re loaded.

Mum sure likes her jewellery, which is understandable, but she wears it in every scene, regardless of what she’s doing.
Also this look, those clothes, that’s got a whiff of Viking about it.
And of course she goes outside without covering her hair.
What will the neighbours think?

Oh god, hanky panky, how boring.
At least now we know Robin and the sheriff’s daughter are both a bit of a sl… tart.

You know what, at least there’s a bit of colour in this show, look at those peasants, they’re not all wearing just drab brown and grey rags.

Oh cool, they saved some money on the costume budget by making Marian’s cloak from an old 1970s rug.

See, after just having him seen bonking another woman, him being enchanted by Marian has lost a bit of its charm.
In stead of me thinking about how romantic true love at first sight is, I’m just thinking about what a randy perv Robin is.
Maybe I’m too old fashioned for modern tv.

Yeah but no.
Nothing about this picture fits the 12th century setting, except perhaps the trees.

Same goes for Robin, he looks ridiculous.
The finger guard, bracers, his wacky outfit, trousers… come on.
Might as well put him in green tights.

The costumes in this show are ridiculous.
This is History Channel Viking:

I’m starting to think they’re doing this just to annoy me.
This costume is Pirates of the Caribbean;

They are doing it on purpose!

Look at that, sure, there’s nothing 12th century about this but we have peasants, we have colours, the sun is shining, people are happy & having fun.
There’s a lot wrong about this show, but at least we’re not getting the blue filter, it’s always raining and life is permanently hellish for everyone nonsense we get so often these days;

Too soon.
I want my love stories to take for ever, for forbidden love to have many obstacles, for lovers to try and resist the impossible attraction, to not just play hard to get but to be hard to get.
I want Mulder and Scully, not Sex in the City.

No coif under the mail?
Very uncomfortable, mail can hurt if worn directly on the skin for a while and his hair is going to get caught in the metal rings one of these days and he’ll regret not wearing one:

End of episode 1, I shall not be watching any more.
It’s silly.
Sure, it’s fun, action, not to be taken too seriously, but it still just feels like someone didn’t do their job properly.
It would not have made the show any worse and a lot better if a bit more effort was put into creating a believable realistic medieval setting.
That’s how you make shows that are still fun to watch decades later.

This show made me think of all the previous Robin Hoods, who were pretty much all rather silly and also not very historically accurate… but FUN.
Seeing dapper Errol Flynn running around or Michael Praed looking all broody in the 1980s TV series I loved as a kid or even John Cleese in Time Bandits, was pure enjoyment.
This 2025 version is lacking that as well as being even remotely historical.
Another lost opportunity.

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