This article was originally a thread on social media, which is why it is formatted with lots of images and short responses.
The text is about the image below that paragraph.
Another film review, dinner is finished, the fire is roaring, cats are purring, dog is snoring, I have a drink and gummy bears, so time to go watch ‘The Last Duel’ (2021).
As usual, first the trailer:
Disclaimer: I am totally biased, but this time not because I fancy some of the actors but because I dislike them. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea, but I don’t really like any of the actors in this film. Sorry actors, I’m sure you’re lovely people, but you make my teeth hurt.
Anyway, here we go.
Dark dingy room, empty unpainted walls, no roaring fire, random candles creating light where it’s not needed. No colours anywhere, this is not how most medieval rich folks lived in their castles:
Linen underdress is fine, but why sleeveless? Linen is amazing, it absorbs smells & dirt, wearing it will keep your difficult/impossible to clean upper-clothing clean longer, so it is especially important for protection under your arms!
Then again, the rich and powerful are a bit weird;
It seems like there are some nice colours and splendid fabrics in this crowd but once more the dreaded blue filter drains them all away. BUT as it’s winter, there’s sort of an excuse for it, it sets the cold atmosphere.
Still, I’m sure they could make it look cold AND colourful:
Just as a reference, here is how medieval people depicted winter:
I love this shot. King Charles VI and the queen look superb and for some reason I’m just delighted about his childish excited smirk. Maybe it’s just me though but that fur around their shoulders looks fake;
Why is this suit of armour in such bad condition? Sure, it’s been used, seen some action, but you’d have squires or pages to clean, maintain and polish them. Especially for a duel in front of the king and queen you’d think they’d give em a bit of a rub;
Those undies look historically accurate. Just paused this for science. Of course;
Wait, what is this madness?
Did she just put a (most likely) woollen stocking on and didn’t tie it to anything? Stockings that defy gravity wouldn’t be around till the 1960s.
These will be around her ankles before she’s left the room. At least put a garter/bow above the knee!
Why the mullet? WHY? Is it based on some historical image?
I am totally for historical accuracy even when it looks weird to modern viewers and perhaps alienating, but in this case I’d make an exception, I’m having 1980s flashbacks.
If it was accurate… but…
The excuse, I mean reason, they gave is a bit iffy: https://cinemablend.com/movies/matt-damon-and-ben-affleck-explain-those-wild-last-duel-hairdos
If a soldier for some reason really doesn’t care about his hair or general appearance (even though real medieval men of high standing seemed to care quite a lot) he would just get someone to cut t all short, not just the sides.
Remember, these men had servants, page boys, they could have gotten anyone to sort their hair out in seconds.
A helmet also goes on the back of the head, besides, you’re wearing a mail coif and a padded cap.
Your hair on the back will still get in the way.
If you’re only worried about hair getting in your eyes, why cut the sides?
The reason is dodgy.
Either way, he looks like an eejit.
Talking of hair, why is hers not covered? She’s a married woman, her reputation is at stake and she’s just sitting there like some cheeky gall out on a tavern-crawl, shamelessly waving her hair about like in an ye olde shampoo advert. Also it’s cold:
Those helmets… so silly. Yeah, no, bad choice.
The knights look different enough, you won’t confuse them, their faces aren’t going to do much acting besides oooh aaah ouch. No, just no;
Right, I do like this, we’ve seen almost how it all ends, but now we get a flashback to see how it all started. And it seems we get to see it from different sides.
Interesting:
See that chap in the water? Is he perhaps the first Kamikaze soldier ever? Or just suicidal? He voluntarily, alone, runs forward into the water to confront a charge of knights on horseback. It’s stupid & makes no sense;
None of these knights have any visors, any face protection.
Odd.
But Matt loses his helmet when he falls off his horse. See film makers, I know why you want to show the actor’s faces, but it’s a lot less silly if you show them losing their helmet. At least explain the why, so it makes a tiny bit more sense;
Am I mad or is that a candle burning right next to a roaring fire?
What? How? Why?
Peasants. All drab. No or few colours.
The blue filter isn’t helping. If you want a blue filter for your winter atmosphere, give your extras extra bright colours so it cancels the light drain a bit!
Oh come on, what is this poverty?
Straw loosely thrown about the floor and not a painted wall in sight?
This is where the big shot lives and welcomes his guests. I think those walls should be decorated and the floor either clean or with woven rush matting;
I’m not sure why, but this looks all wrong as well.
Those random rugs on the floor look odd and a vase on a not very medieval looking table also looks out of place, more like how a modern person would decorate a room:
Nice, totally random detail, someone is salting some fish.
Whoever was in charge of creating this kitchen scene did well;
Lots of pretty decent battle scenes, fighting, chaos, gore.
Not bad. I especially like where Matt had to improvise and used a chain maille coif to slap someone about the face with. Nice:
Its not winter in this shot. But still the peasants all look a bit drab, medieval people loved colours, their clothing was coloured, they had free natural dyes in their gardens, the 2nd hand clothing market was huge, etc.
No reason for drabness:
Great castle, could do with some plastering though;
Why are random women helping the knights taking off their suits of armour?
Sounds more like a job for pages or squires, you know, someone who actually used to doing these kinds of jobs:
I’ve undressed a knight once or twice, it’s quite complicated.
What? How dare you, it was not that kind of undressing!
Will there ever be a medieval film made without a tavern/feast like scene where there’s drinking, dancing, standing on tables and buxom maidens being groped? Yes, it does look like a lot of fun. A lot of expensive candles though, I’d use oil lamps;
Where is this though? In the castle?
Is everyone having a fun party in the kitchen? Even the lord?
They’re preparing food behind him. Surely they’d rather party in the great hall or something?
Hello, I’m from a fancy rich powerful family that is respected by all in the country.
And here’s my daughter just walking around with her hair out, even though for some reason we’re wandering around a rowdy party full of men who just returned from battle;
Yes, I know, not all castles were probably painted like some 1970s disco, but these walls, barely even plastered, being so bare and white, just looks wrong. Paint them, decorate them!
This is the result of centuries of erasing, (literal) whitewashing & neglect, this is not what castles looked like during the middle ages;
I’m no dog breeding expert, but I’m pretty sure that little dog on her lap is not that old a breed, it looks like a Boston terrier, a type that didn’t exist till the late 1800s;
Oh hello. The story takes an unexpected turn 😉
Interesting detail though that he still has his “this man doesn’t care about hair because he’s just always fighting wars” hairstyle.
Even for his wedding he didn’t have it cut… sure….
The wedding party looks like fun. But the lady, now a knight’s wife, is still flaunting her hair, shocking! And that dress is… interesting;
Moment of appreciation for the stunt geese about to jump in front of the horses;
Persian rugs on the floor, a vase with flowers on the table… it just doesn’t look right.
This set is dressed like your average modern home, not like a medieval castle.
And of course expensive candles burning where they’re not needed.
Loving those window seats though. I want some. I’d sit there all day with a good book;
This is just silly. All those candles burning while they’re practically having a meal outside, during the day;
Great shot. And I love that we see a woman working the land, we know they did;
Our lady seems to have the habit to just go walkies outside the castle, among the common people, with her hair still not covered, even though she’s very very married to a man who told her on their wedding day he’s a rather jealous chap;
If I had the money, I’d have a fun cart like that made, hire myself a gentleman and go on holiday with it. Mind you, my wagon would have nice colours and that castle could do with some plaster;
I mustn’t… I shouldn’t… but…. ney, I can not resist…
Yes his hair still looks ridiculous. Yes her hair looks great. Yes it should be covered;
More candles burning just to make the shot look more interesting, not because they’re actually functional. Unnecessary candles seem to be the main theme of this film.
If we have a drink very time we see a candle burning for no reason, we’d already be drunk;
Matt’s mother, not just an important elderly lady but also a widow, seems to also have the habit of not covering her hair. The hair looks great though, I’m loving all the braiding going on;
Burning arrows… now that’s a whole thread on its own.
They did exist but they were specially made arrows, not just regular arrows with burning rags. Also they make little sense in a normal combat situation, they won’t set a man on fire like this. They’re for bigger targets;
Were bushes shaped like this a thing in the 14th century? I know the Romans were into Topiary, but did the medieval Frenchies? Not really;
Ha, both mother and wife have finally found a wimple to cover their hair with. Funny how they decide to both look modest during an intimate dinner with husband/son but keep forgetting to wear them when out in public.
Whoever dressed these women clearly has no idea why women covered their hair back then and in which situations;
By the way, if you’ve worked on this film, I know your pain. I’ve been a historical on set consultant and I know you try your best and then the director comes and ignores all the history advice because something looks nicer the wrong way.
But the director is not always right.
I’m never quite sure because I never looked into it, but pewter plates and tankards always seem like something from later than the 14th century. And now I’m getting quite curious about placing flowers on tables, since when was this a thing?
I’ll have to research it properly some day;
Gorgeous CGI:
Besides all the historical “liberties” the film commits one even bigger sin… it’s slow.
I don’t mind slow films, if the story is very interesting and appealing and I fear that so far it’s all a bit meh. A little voice in my head whispers “get on with it” and it’s barely begun!
It doesn’t help that we are seeing the same story from 3 perspectives, it’s a fun idea but it also means there’s some overlapping going on. We’re literally seeing the same scenes being repeated…
I would be willing to accept a married woman taking social etiquette less serious while at home, among the people of her village, but here she is at court, in front of king & queen, her virtue and honour is on trial, but still she won’t cover her hair;
This room… doesn’t feel very 14th century… at all;
Another big hall where very rich and powerful people are feasting… but sadly they too seem to find it impossible to afford a proper plasterer or a good decorator to paint the walls 😉 Must all have died during the plague;
One thing I really do like about the film is how dark it is, no not dirty dark, but just dark, the lighting is realistic. Most filmmakers are scared of this and add lots of extra lights so you can see everything properly. But this looks a lot more realistic:
Oh here are some peasants, quick someone drain al the colours from their clothes!!
Another glorious shot. I like the people skating on the ice;
Even in his side of the story Jacques Le Gris is a creepy stalker and botherer of ladies. Although of course he thinks he’s being romantic and doing the courtly love thing. They always do;
Yeah, no. I’m pretty sure that rug on that table isn’t 14th century.
I have the exact same one and it’s only a few decades old.
Also more vases with flowers. I better find some evidence for them being a thing back then or they’re going on the bingo card;
Four posh ladies, all married, none wearing veils;
What is he wearing?
When did he join an 1980s leather biker boy gang?
Why is he wearing trousers in stead of hose?
t’s contagious!! Now she’s into leather as well;
Coolest guy in the whole film. Just look at that stance;
A bath is taken, a nice hip bath tub, copper?
Sure, why not. Not sure why she keeps her underdress on though:
The whole women not liking hanky panky is silly, medieval people thought women liked that sort of thing too much!
It generally doesn’t take 20-30 minutes before you burn alive.
You’ll suffocate from the smoke and hot air long before that;
The film has a weird balance.
One second the woman is a powerless victim, just property of her husband, nothing more (not quite authentic) the next she’s a power-woman who tells everybody what’s what and is treated with respect (also a bit iffy). Peculiar;
This is just silly. They put her on a chair with wood and fire ready to scorchio her on the spot if hubby loses the battle. Such nonsense.
In reality the stake for burning was nearby, not in the middle of the duel.
One chronicler (Froissart) claimed she was placed on a scaffold but he wasn’t even there while Le Coq, who was an actual eyewitness, wrote that she was in a carriage nearby and send away before the duel started;
How medieval people depicted the image, lady in a carriage and colour everywhere;
On a side note, they should totally bring back duelling.
Honest, I’m not staring at backsides all the time, but it’s odd to see both knights wearing trousers in stead of hose. Hose being two separate long stockings tied to a belt or underwear;
I wonder what would have happened if the men both died.
It might be an ideal result for the lady 😉
If I was a medieval lady, my husband would have a freak stabbing himself in back while falling out window after drinking poison accident.
Being a widow was one of the best possible career choices a medieval woman could make;
I hope I’m wrong, but that fur looks SO fake, even worse than the ones you can buy at IKEA;I hope I’m wrong, but that fur looks SO fake;
This is UNACCEPTABLE.
Why on earth did they not use a BOLLOCK dagger?!! How could they resist the symbolism?!
The visual language, the irony!! Come on!!
HAHAHAHA! The lady was chained to that wooden lifeguard building. But the chains didn’t have a lock! If they set that on fire, she could have taken those chains off within seconds, jumped and made a run for it;
Great shot. I’m all for equal opportunity and applaud those women for climbing that tree, but I tried climbing a tree in a medieval dress once and it didn’t go well.
Mind you, I was very, very drunk;
Lovely shot, nice street, crowd and you can see the people actually wearing coloured clothes!! Blasted you vile blue filter, you absorbed their brightness like a colour vampire, blue filter, I wish thy pox on thy kin and thy sheep;
The end. Well, I’m disappointed. I expected something better.
I’m also very annoyed that nobody has given me a castle yet.
3/10.
Anyway, here’s a good article that’s a little more in depth about some of the facts of the actual story:
https://slate.com/culture/2021/10/last-duel-movie-historical-accuracy.html
Finally, if you enjoyed my annoying detail obsessed fun ruining review of this film, you can find more of my reviews here;
Fake History Hunter 
