Fake History Hunter

This article was originally a thread on social media, which is why it is formatted with lots of images and short responses.
The text is about the image below that paragraph.

Yes, I am the fake history hunter, yes I will be annoying about tiny little details, I will literally be on the lookout for mistakes and historical inaccuracies.
There will also be spoilers.
So be warned.
There’s a reason my family doesn’t allow me to speak when we watch films.

Today’s target;

Here’s the trailer;

Disclaimer: How can I be critical of Heath. Look at him, even with hair like that.
Yes, there’s a bias, I’ll be a bit more tolerant of things going wrong if Heath is in the picture. I’m only human!

Oh look, there’s Mark Addy, great but underrated actor;

When I first watched this film I sighed and was annoyed when this scene happened.
Three minutes in and the medieval people are singing ‘we will rock you’ by Queen.
But that disappointment didn’t last long and soon I realised this was actually rather awesome;

With any other film I’d be annoyed with peasant extras holding a random chicken leg.
Or is it turkey?? I think it is!!!
But thanks to the fun intro we know this film doesn’t take itself too seriously, it’s a comedy, it’s silly and it just made me laugh. They’re messing with us! On purpose!
That’s actually pretty great, I readjusted my expectations.

This is where I had to laugh again and my last bit of annoyance melted away.
The crowd is doing a wave.
This is a silly film.
This is going to be fun.
Not to be taken too seriously. I’m all in.
Still, I won’t be able to resist poking at it here and there… I promise.

I love that when Queen’s hard rock electric guitar tune ends, the horn blowers stop playing.
Yep, that whole song, came out of these horns. This made me laugh so hard:

I would have liked to see more colour in the peasant’s clothing though. Sorry, I can’t help myself.
But the films sure manages to represent the atmosphere, excitement and fun that those jousts would have been like:

It’s not really my expertise but I reckon the armour in this film is a bit of a mixed bag, a bit of a mess, historically speaking, but this shot also made me laugh out loud.
He got a good walloping.
This is pretty accurate btw, I remember reading about knights getting stuck inside their helmet after a few slaps:

Giggle.
Yes that’s a naked ‘Vision’, that superhero guy.
You even get to see his bum!
Of course I looked away, being a lady and all. Innit though.
Best depiction of Geoffrey Chaucer in any film ever.
Is it historically accurate?
HUSH! How dare you ask, we don’t ask such things in front of naked men:

I LOVE that he assumes that these 3 random common layabouts have read his book;

You know what’s sad, this film where authenticity is not taken seriously and purposefully (and brilliantly) messed with and where they don’t try to be historically accurate, is still more historically accurate than some films that pretend to care about being authentic…

Those tents and that document look pretty impressive. They did have tents like that and they were decorated and that’s a pretty decent replica of medieval official paperwork I reckon:

I know it’s difficult to see anything but Heath in this shot, but do try, look behind him, those medieval houses look fantastic, I hope we get to see more of them:

50 bonus points for this beard.
That’s a piece of art. All hail the beard!

This cathedral needs more colour.
Paint those columns, Medieval people loved colour, they painted houses, castles & churches.
They often used bright, even garish colours.
It had to be said, sorry, couldn’t resist;

IT’S SPUDGUN!!
Which means nothing to you unless you’ve seen one of my favourite television series ever 😉

A female armourer!
That’s actually historically accurate, now I wonder if they knew that or put her in on purpose for fun because they thought it would be incorrect… this film is messing with my head 😉

For instance, Margaret Merssh and Katherine of Bury ran the forge in the Tower of London and Margareta Langshawe and Johanna Armorer were armourers in 15th century York!

Here’s an lustration is from the Holkham Bible, England c. 1327;

Rufus Sewell! Another great actor, you may know him from ‘The Man in the High Castle’;

Geoffrey is brilliant. Coming dangerously close to starting a peasant’s revolt here;

Look at those houses, gorgeous!
Very well done:

These scenes have too much light.
Would have looked nicer and more realistic if much darker, hey now, I’m just doing my duty;

OI! You lot who made ‘The last duel’, see, some film makers have the guts to put a visor on their actors and don’t mind that we can’t see their lovely faces for a bit!
It’s okay! We can keep them apart!

Lovely shot, sure, historically speaking it’s a bit of a mess, but this one frame has more colour in it than in some films made more recently…
Let’s hear it for the NO BLUE FILTER GANG!

Brilliant. Geoffrey threatens his enemies with literally revenge, he will mock them in his books and they will be mocked for all eternity… if only they realised the validity of this threat!

As a cloggy I love that our hero comes from Gelderland and that they’re now going to do the dance of that region.
Oh just in case you’re wondering, costumes, hair, dance… yeah, no, technically they’re not quite, er… not completely 100% historically accurate… to put it mildly…

It all starts sweet and slow with medievalish sort of music but then…

Well, this you just have to see for yourself;

God I wish I was on Twitter in 2001 so I could tell 921875 billion angry internet boys about medieval women blacksmiths:

Hahahahahaha:

Oh James Purefoy… all sweaty…

Normally I complain about medieval people being portrayed as being dirty but Rufus is best when he’s broody, angry and dirty… so dirty…

Torches… NOOOOO.
No excuses for torches, sorry. 😉
Why not? Read more here;
https://fakehistoryhunter.net/2019/09/10/medieval-myths-bingo/#torchesallovertheplace

And yes, of course, can’t have a medieval film without a rowdy tavern scene!

Okay, someone call Hollywood, we need a film with Paul Bettany as Geoffrey Chaucer. He steals every scene he’s in;

London bridge looks a bit fake, but goodness it’s still gorgeous.
We need to bring back bridges with buildings on it. I so wish this bridge still existed looking just like this:

Yes, I was singing along to ‘the boys are back in town’;

Didn’t expect to be crying while watching this film, what a scene;

Lovely shot:

This scene also looks lovely, nice set!

Bad guys who are also kind of cool are the best.
You don’t want to like them, but you can’t help it, or maybe that’s just me…

Did I mention I know a couple of actual professional jousters?
They put on suits of armour and do all this stuff all over Europe. And yes, they’re all dashing, handsome and splendid.

The end!

So conclusion; when it comes to historical accuracy a lot is “wrong” with it, but much of the inaccuracies are done on purpose, which frankly makes it perfectly acceptable.
It’s the mistakes done because of ignorance or laziness that I have a problem with.
In this film they seem to have known exactly what they were doing when they did something wrong, which made it right!

And although the details weren’t right, they did get the atmosphere right.
Medieval people had fun, jousts were exciting and knights were like the celebrities of their day.
The film is funny, unexpectedly touching and has some truly stellar acting in it.
Brilliant.

As long as you know what to expect, this film is an absolute joy.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this review, if you did you can find links to more of my reviews here;

https://fakehistoryhunter.net/2022/11/14/my-reviews/