Fake History Hunter

Let’s go check out ‘King & Conqueror’, episode 1, just aired tonight. Yes, I will be annoying, looking at details, caring about historical accuracy, details, etc. You’ve been warned.

This article was originally a thread on social media, which is why it is formatted with lots of images and short responses.
The text is about the image below that paragraph.

There are people out there who know a lot more about weaponry, armour, techniques etc. than I do, so re-enactors/historians/nerds, please do feel free to scream about the bits I don’t notice in the comments. I’ll be looking at rubber swords & extras not hitting anything 😉

Always nice to start something with a date, now we know that every detail, every costume, bit of architecture, furniture, etc. will be from 1066 or earlier and absolutely nothing from after… right?

Yes, medieval people liked to be clean and avoided dirt & filth, but that of course didn’t matter in the heat of a battle and I sure do like men covered in muck, so no complaints here.
Also that mail looks pretty good, it has rivets. I wonder if some of the extras wear 3D printed stuff, plastic but looks decent from a distance. Better than literally woollen knitted sweaters painted metallic like they once did!

Ugly, boring font. Come on, go a bit mad, I want some sexy hand written medieval words with lovely art!

I love those wagons. Want one.

Why does he have a tash and long hair? The Normans were kind of well known for their wacky very short hairstyles and not being very beardy.

What on earth is Mathilda wearing?
Some sort of leather bodice with hood?
I mean it looks cool but… well, odd. Is she going to a LARP event after filming? Also why is her hair not covered? Are they not married yet?

What on earth is he wearing. Did his mum make that for his first fantasy fair event? And he has no tash? His lot loved tashes!

Is that dead chap wearing trousers in stead of hose?
Back then men wore hose, two long sort of stockings attached to a belt or braies (sort of underpants).
Actual trousers were the legs & pants bit were all attached were more of a later thing.

Are you kidding me? Seriously? This whole nonsense about the lord being allowed to take a peasant’s bride’s to his bed, AKA ‘Droit du seigneur’ or ‘first night’, has been considered as made up or at least without any evidence for ages. Even wikipedia knows that:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Droit_du_seigneur

Is there some sort of secret underworld conspiracy or mafia of leather manufacturers that forces every historical drama to put as much leather on everyone as possible? Or was there some sort of medieval leather biker gang kinky club I haven’t heard of?

Yay for CGI!

What in the name of Temu-Game of Thrones are these (adorable) Disney houses?

Oh gods, its even worse on the inside.

Look at the roughness of the fabric of this countess her dress and of course, walking around with her hair all out in the open, flapping all over the place, like she’s a frolicking unmarried 16 year old.

Oh cool, they live in the Shire.
Friendly reminder; candles back then were very expensive.

Bathorse, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da bathorse!

Those houses look a tat futuristic…

This is an earl, at a very official important event… wearing drab, colourless rags.
All the guests do…

Who is he? And that lady on the right?
Where did they come from? How did they end up here?
Are we ever going to find out or are we just for ever wondering about his story and why everybody is ignoring his rather foreign and uncommon appearance for that time & place?

This is a king’s coronation, yet here he is in his raggedy brownish tent, an 1950s leather jerkin, with a stubble, his hair uncombed and generally just looking grotty. And he’s supposed to be a fancy boy, a toff!

A new king, maybe he can end that horrible law that made wearing coloured clothing illegal… What a depressing bunch.

Well it’s even worse than I expected.
They’ve clearly just gone for a fantasy look for their historical drama.

What a wasted opportunity.
Won’t be watching any more episodes.
It’s pants.

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